The Other Side of Thirties….

There was a time when I thought entering thirties was a sobering experience – but wait till you get to the ‘other side’…the truth is out here!

Today, as I turn 36… oh wow, wait! …as I turn an awe-inspiring thirty-six, I can only wonder that life is indeed shorter than it seems. I am thankful that I have come this far in life, and I cannot wait to unfold what life has in store for me and mine in the future!

Birthdays and new years – as clichéd as it may sound – are indeed the best times for self-reflection! You can take stock of what has happened in the past years, and you can only hope for better roads leading to your future!

Today, if I sum up the most important thing I have learnt all these years, it is that of the importance to be at peace with yourself. Some people find it through inner connection with the Almighty, some by accepting their past mistakes and moving on, and some by just nurturing the most important relationship in our life – that, which we have with our own selves.  I am trying to learn a bit of all of these, and more.  So be at peace with yourself, do your best but also remember that there is only so much a person can do.

The other important thing I have learnt is the importance of being in a positive mood! Your perspective really decides how you will experience and remember that moment later.  If you hold your head high, you can pass through the most difficult phases in your life.  My one mantra for all situations, good or bad, “This too shall pass” has helped me in more ways than one.

As I enter the other side of the thirties, laden with half a life worth of experience, achievements and most importantly failures, I am ready to add more to my learning basket.  As I juggle my family, friends, work, home and other social obligations, I sincerely hope that I learn to do justice to all. It’s okay to drop the plastic balls but I sincerely hope I don’t drop any of the glass balls!

4:51 p.m.

After a long day of hectic running around, I feel so blessed to have a constant barrage of birthday greetings, calls as well as a surprise birthday lunch with friends! I feel so blessed to have so many people out there who love me, and think of me on my special day.  This itself is worth stepping on the other side of the thirties! Ready, set…go!

Amma

Today it has been exactly one year that my Daddi, my lovely Amma, passed away. I owe her a lot in my life – one of the most important lesson she taught us siblings was that of Namaz. A skill which you realize is your lifeline as you mature in years. There was a time when I would pray only when I had an exam or a big test coming up! But now, as I try and catchup with life while making sure I don’t let go of my daily communication with God, it is only now that I realize how thankful I am to the person who taught me all this! Especially since I find it very challenging to teach my sons the same. I now realize how much patience is required to impart a life skill and at the same time instilling love for doing so!

There was always a very fine balance – our Nani taught us the Quran while Daddi made sure the children pray on time. (I was mostly the lazy one and Amma would always tell me very lovingly how my younger sister is more regular and I should follow the same!). As we grew up we also witnessed a fine combination of Nani and Daddi being the best of friends! And Amma‘s unconditional love and preference for my mother, her only daughter in law ; something which many households are not accustomed to! Perhaps this is the main reason our family bond remains so strong!

My Amma was such a beautiful human being with great compassion for not just her family but also her extended family and friends! Her friend aunty Aabo would come and spend the night at our house and me and my dad would scheme that it would be so much fun if one could be a fly on the wall in their room! If we could somehow plant a secret recording device for posterity’s sake!!! It was such a delight watching her happily chatting away! Good times were they!

It’s hard to imagine my parent’s house without Amma but I’m sure she’s still praying for us all- wherever she is!

I miss my Amma, very much! The more I miss her, the more I try to emulate the values she instilled in us! This I guess is the best way to honor her memory! May she rest in peace and may she gains the highest level of Jannat in the Hereafter.

If

Somewhere between doing Kumon homework with my boys and a recently acquired treadmill routine, I started recalling my favorite Rudyard Kipling poem. I could have googled it but recalling also meant recalling only my favorite lines from the very beautiful poem!

Sharing what I wrote down just now! This ofcourse is not the entire poem.

Of Valentines, Mermen and Flying Horses!

Come February the 14th and all the media – social and electronic – starts a buzz with the nauseating hearts and declaration of love. A lot of Rumi quotations fly in the air, flower prices go sky rocketry and Facebook status updates become amusing!

Some critics post anti V-day passages upon passages (which still means they spend energy and time thinking about the day!) while some husband / wife/ fiancés / lovers / ex-lovers race on who has the better poem/quote to capture the day or who can instagram an ‘awwww’ out of the very critic!

I have certainly metamorphosed into a non-believer in the very fluff celebrated as the red- heart-shaped character that drives the world insane! Or maybe because at 35 you have learnt that aur bhi dukh hein zamanay mein Mohabbat Kay siwa!

My two year old niece, who is my heart and soul, has reminded me yet again about the Law of Confessions (I just made it up). Every time I would call aloud  ’Z I love you!’ she would reply back with a mischievous twinkle in her eye ”I no love you!’. She goes around declaring her love to everybody in the room and when I would call her to me she giggles and says ‘I no love Taita’ .  When you love them and declare your love to them – they drive you crazy, because they know they can!!

In a world of instant access but distant relations, information over dose and lack of attention as we tab browse our way through life – February 14 too will pass as just another day!

But….

I would still like to believe that one doesn’t need a dedicated day to tell the other person how you really feel about them! My Law of Confession notwithstanding, if you are lucky to have found The One, remember that they are all like quicksilver in the hand –  you keep your fingers open and they stay, you clutch and they dart away!

This picture was taken at a lake side, on a quiet evening. 17 January 2013.

Yesterday is today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream…

Khalil Jibran – on time

And is not time even as love is, undivided and spaceless?

But if in your thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons,
And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.

Sharing this pic I took recently – and hoping for the new year to bring peace at heart to all!

AJ on life

As I sat down, wondering what to write on this forgotten blog – I received my father’s email sent to me and my siblings. My father who I fondly refer to as AJ, his initials, wrote from his heart, as he always does.  It touched a chord in my heart and I could not help but share with all my friends and family. We can all learn a few words of wisdom from a man I admire most in my life.

My personal favourite is lesson no. 4. Which one is yours?

“My very dear ones,

After a few days I am completing three years after my retirement. These THREE years have enabled me to understand this world in a much better way than previous sixty years on life. I have learnt few lessons which I want to share with you. I believe anyone who would follow these would be at least a satisfied person like me. I am thankful to God almighty for helping me to understand these TEN lessons in their true spirits. These lessons are:-

1) Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you and move out of their way

2) The only constant in life is change… Get comfortable with it

3) Fail often, fail quickly….you’ll never succeed unless you take risks

4) You only get one shot – make it count!

5) Your schedule makes you dumber…find time to learn about worlds outside of the one you live in.

6) Good ideas rule all.

7) Believe in a  Bawaqar Pakistan…You would make it happen, not others.

8) Family first…if some situation arises.

9) Make your own definitions of success and believe that you can make it happen.

10) Only God can can help you….nobody else!

God be with you in whatever you do in your life, I love you all.”

 

The silent helping hand…

Today was just another reminder that this world is one big returning boomerang – you help others, only to find others helping you out too!

Every time I have helped anybody in my life, and unfortunately I cannot claim to have a lot in my count, I always made a silent prayer to be returned the same kindness by God when I am in need! And today, I saw the power of your work being taken care of by a silent hand – things getting done on their own accord – and all you have to do is stand and watch and be amused at this one amazing returning boomerang of life!

I have seen the attached picture as the original hanging impressively in the UN headquarters building.  I bought this post card at the bookshop only to be reminded of the awe it inspires in you.  And this post could not be a better place to share it with all.

Small advice but can create big marvels if all of us start to pay heed to this – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”…..